Posted by Jim Easterbrook
reproducing verbatim a post from uk.d-i-y by Peter Parry
I doubt if they could rival SWEB's sales technique around here a few
months back.
I was idly contemplating which part of the garage mountain to scale
in search of some item when around the corner into the close came at
high speed and with much noise a rather elderly Ford Escort with 4
occupants. It promptly hit our one and only lampost right between
its eyes and knocked said lampost down onto a neighbours car. With
much grinding of gears and very high revs the car hopped backwards
off the sloping lampost like a mating ferret and shot off again.
Feeling they had forgotten to leave something (like their names) I
set off after them to see them bounce off another car and at the
first corner hit a garden wall. Yet again they reversed off and set
off now somewhat encumbered by a shortage of radiator, no water pump
and wheels that where very distinctly squint.
At the next roundabout the car had one wheel going left and one right
and hence bounced over the top of the roundabout before coming to
rest against a seat on the verge on the other side. The occupants
decamped and ran away.
Unfortunately their escape was slightly prejudiced by their leaving
behind several boxes of SWEB sales literature, their company identity
cards, and their wallets in their jackets. The police arrived
shortly thereafter and were, I have to say, quite overcome with the
cornucopia of evidence.
Later in the day one of the miscreants turned up at the house whose
car had been demolished by the lamppost still trying to sell SWEBs
offering. He was sporting a medium sized gash in his forehead and
after being "persuaded" to stay until the police arrived explained
he
had carried on trying to sell because he hadn't yet reached his
monthly bonus target and he thought this might be the last day he had
left to earn it. In that respect at least he was absolutely right.