In article <ya0KE4CvtsK+Ew2U@blueyonder.co.uk>, George Middleton
<George@Middleton.net> writes
>Jane Vernon writes
>>Yes, and it's not confined to names. Someone tells you something 
>>they've done, probably not a regular occurrence, and you reply "Did 
>>you?"
>
>I don't think that it is a daft question, I think it's an aid to 
>conversation. My cousin demands (non verbally) that you respond to every 
>part of everything she says. She watches you closely as she talks and 
>pauses if no response is seen.

Active listening. In some professions you are trained to do it. I have
been so trained, and it means future counselling etc. is out as I can
spot it (and it annoys me, quite unreasonably :-()

-- 
Min
But you're really a mackerel in the moonlight

Ahum

Chris
-- 
Chris J Dixon Nottingham 

Perhaps I could just reflect back to you, Chris, that you just said "ahum".
Why do you think that might be?

--
Sid
Shepherds Bush, West London

It's interesting that you ask that question Sid. How do you feel
about not knowing?

Chris
-- 
Chris J Dixon Nottingham 

"Not knowing"?

-- 
Martin

This is a simple sublimated reverse-transference reaction formation, Martin.
Your inner child is trying to be a Venusian rather than Martian, which is
causing a negative internal space in which you feel that I am talking utter
b*ll*cks. Perhaps we could flip that around so that, in your cave, you
welcome, embrace and claim ownership of your own feelings of insecurity, and
explore why the idea of "knowing" is so important to you.

--
Sid
Shepherds Bush, West London

I hear what you are saying, Sid. Do carry on, please...

-- 
Martin

Martin, why don't you change seats with Sid, and then reflect to
"Martin" what you hear Sid saying.

Chris
-- 
Chris J Dixon Nottingham 

Right, what I'd like you to do now is take these pieces of flip-chart paper
and use the marker pens to write down all the feelings you've experienced
during this activity. Don't try to process your thoughts, just write them
down as they occur to you, in a non-judgemental way, even if they're plainly
a load of poo.

Then I'll stick the sheets on the wall with Blu-tack and we can all read
them out to each other.

Later I'll get it typed up and post it to you all afterwards, and you can
put it straight in the bin.

My invoice for this training and consultancy will follow shortly.

--
Marjorie Clarke